22 Nov 2012


Mia has privately messaged me and we have worked out a solution. Mia has agreed to work out on how to be called out, and I have agreed to be transparent about my feelings and reaction. (I gave her this resource on how to be called out, which is problematic but I feel is a good place to start.)

21 Nov 2012


I called out Black Girl Dangerous yesterday on Tumblr here, and I copy + pasted my call out on BDG’s Facebook page. The pictures above are screencaps of the conversation (my comments have been deleted, evidence in the 4th picture). It won’t make sense if you don’t read the initial call-out and blog post so I encourage you to do so.

This isn’t meant to slander (and even though that’s my intention, it may not be my impact). This is meant to be transparent with how a QTPOC blog has responded to a call out and has now erased evidence of said call out. I grew angrier and angrier with each response because this cis queer woman would not sit down and just take criticism. I feel my anger is valid (on TDoR of all days, really?).

I know no one is perfect, and I was definitely out-of-line in some of my comments. Mia has also unfriended me on Facebook after this interaction and I can’t help but wonder, geez, did I make you that uncomfortable? Is my presence and anger so threatening and/or bothersome that you couldn’t even handle a Facebook friendship with me anymore? It’s hard not to take that personally. It’s also hard to come from a place of love when this is the third time I’ve had to call out a QTPOC org/space on their TWOC exclusion.

I’m tired y’all. I really am. Black Girl Dangerous has really fucked up and I will not be supporting Mia any further. Y’all can if you want, I just want you to know how fucked up she is. I’m not here to hold hands and love other QPOC who are only working to silence me WHEN THEY FUCKED UP IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Reblog if you want. I want to see this shit catch fire.

This has got me thinking. I don’t do well with call outs either. It’s especially hard when you are generally on the up and up and have an area where your experience is limited and doesn’t translate. I wonder if we can also share models of call outs gone right. What do we want to see in the responses of folks who say they are with us?