The (Real) Gay Conspiracy- EBONY

28 Feb 2012
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This weekend was supposed to be easy… My partner, my daughter, my cousin, and me, of course, all heading to Columbia college in South Carolina… A 3+ hour trip, driving in the car… Leaving at 5am to avoid a hotel fee.

So, on on Monday, I asked my little cousin’s mom if she can come tour the college with my daughter, meaning she’d have to spend the night… She said she and my uncle would discuss it and let me know that evening…

Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, flew by without me hearing word. I began to suspect something was wrong. But I didn’t want to assume… I called her back, left a message saying Saturday was approaching, and we wanted to make sure we included my little cousin…

Thursday evening, I received a text from her with the question I knew was coming… “Does your partner live with you?”

Now, I know she KNEW this information, but I was thinking maybe there was something else to it. Something else she was alluding to… So, I answered and gave more info, “Yes, I live with my partner. And we’re taking I-20, leaving at 5 am.”

A full 24 hours later, I get a text saying my cousin can go, but she can’t spend the night, and that she is so excited. I was a little itchy about it, and didn’t want to have to drive all the way out to her house at 5 am, so I asked, Why can’t she stay/ We’ll be leaving so early?”

Then the sh*t hit the fan. My aunt said she preferred my cousin not stay in my gay/lesbian household.

I was so shocked, I didn’t even know what to say. I called my mom, in tears.

My mother, bless her heart, proceeded to defend me, and called my aunt.

My father, upset that my mom called my aunt, tried to give me some speech about my aunt NOT knowing my partner, and therefore defended her decision.

What shocked me was that she would think I would allow something to happen to my cousin, that my partner wasn’t trustworthy, and that she WOULD allow her in my home if I was with a man.

I politely text her back, “I am hurt that you think something would happen to *my cousin* in my home. Although I don’t want to deprive her of an out of state college tour, it might be best she not go with us. Thank you for letting me know how you feel.

And I will not be speaking to her until I have resolved this in myself…

Wow. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I know people think like this but I am always surprised when it happens. There’s so much work to do. sending love.